I dread the week after Christmas. Not because of taking the tree down and packing up all those decorations. Not even because there are items to return and sizes to change. What I really hate is after two months of eating things we only see or make once a year, - turkeys, hams, pecan pies, Christmas candy and cookies – you walk into any retail store and BAM! There it is! The Valentine’s candy.
Jennerally Speaking, by Jennifer Vargin
Staff Writer and Columnist for the Minden Press - Herald
Valentine’s Day Vices: Love and Money
I dread the week after Christmas. Not because of taking the tree down and packing up all those decorations. Not even because there are items to return and sizes to change. What I really hate is after two months of eating things we only see or make once a year, - turkeys, hams, pecan pies, Christmas candy and cookies – you walk into any retail store and BAM! There it is! The Valentine’s candy.
It’s everywhere. Entire aisles draped in pink and red and white and stocked full of chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Along with those chocolate heart boxes adorned with satin ribbon and a plastic rose are all our favorites in those cute, little, give-away sizes that we secretly stash in our purses and lunch boxes. Just a hundred more calories, they’re so cute and colorful and a bag or two will dress up the office!
Then there’s the cards. Miles of them. Not just for your kids to exchange, but cards for everyone from grandma to the dog. Like my dog knows what a Valentine is. Just as we are recovering from all the emotional baggage associated with Christmas and family, we are called upon to express our deepest and most repressed emotion- the Big Daddy of them all- that four-letter word, L-O-V-E.
While some can peruse the aisles in some sort of chocolate-induced euphoria thinking special sweet thoughts about Uncle Joe, the children or a spouse, I am here to tell you that many of us would just as soon forget the whole thing. I really feel sorry for the guys. The mere mention of Valentine’s Day to a man can result in a trip to the ER for anxiety attacks and trauma to the emotions. Let’s face it, men just aren’t equipped with the same batteries as women when it comes to displaying affection, a fact evidenced by the results of a national study, which found that women buy about 80 percent of all Valentine products. Still, even the bravest man dare not come empty-handed on Valentine’s Day.
And, it’s pretty entertaining to see them all lined up like a wrecking crew on the card aisle the evening before the big day. Not to mention the brave soul who ventures into the deep abyss of the lingerie department and has to stand there and wait until someone the size of their wife comes along so the salesperson can finally assist him.
What happened to this holiday is just like what happened to all the rest. Whereas the day was originally intended as an opportunity to express love toward that one special someone who had captured our hearts, marketing and big business have turned it into a capitalist’s dream.
If you have children, then class cards are generally mandatory. What else would all those art teachers do with that gross of red construction paper and paper doilies? (OK, reality check here. We moms love those little handcrafted cards even if we know for sure our kids didn’t write the verse inside!)
Now it is also socially appropriate to extend love to teachers, coworkers, friends, relatives and even business associates.
Forget those New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. Who can resist a red satin box of chocolates or those cute little kisses all wrapped in red. It’s sabotage I tell you, nothing more. It all starts with Halloween and runs rampant until that last pink M&M between the couch cushions is scarfed up by whoever finds it. And don’t say you never ate a lone M&M cause I won’t believe you and neither will anyone else!
Yes, you may say one could just avoid those aisles, but if the aroma of 600 pounds of chocolate doesn’t suck you in, then you’re a tornado-chasing candidate. And yes, LOVE is a many splendored thing and I guess if it takes a designated day and thousands of pounds of chocolate to remind us of that, then so be it.
But fat and emotion free it is not.
Staff Writer and Columnist for the Minden Press - Herald
Valentine’s Day Vices: Love and Money
I dread the week after Christmas. Not because of taking the tree down and packing up all those decorations. Not even because there are items to return and sizes to change. What I really hate is after two months of eating things we only see or make once a year, - turkeys, hams, pecan pies, Christmas candy and cookies – you walk into any retail store and BAM! There it is! The Valentine’s candy.
It’s everywhere. Entire aisles draped in pink and red and white and stocked full of chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Along with those chocolate heart boxes adorned with satin ribbon and a plastic rose are all our favorites in those cute, little, give-away sizes that we secretly stash in our purses and lunch boxes. Just a hundred more calories, they’re so cute and colorful and a bag or two will dress up the office!
Then there’s the cards. Miles of them. Not just for your kids to exchange, but cards for everyone from grandma to the dog. Like my dog knows what a Valentine is. Just as we are recovering from all the emotional baggage associated with Christmas and family, we are called upon to express our deepest and most repressed emotion- the Big Daddy of them all- that four-letter word, L-O-V-E.
While some can peruse the aisles in some sort of chocolate-induced euphoria thinking special sweet thoughts about Uncle Joe, the children or a spouse, I am here to tell you that many of us would just as soon forget the whole thing. I really feel sorry for the guys. The mere mention of Valentine’s Day to a man can result in a trip to the ER for anxiety attacks and trauma to the emotions. Let’s face it, men just aren’t equipped with the same batteries as women when it comes to displaying affection, a fact evidenced by the results of a national study, which found that women buy about 80 percent of all Valentine products. Still, even the bravest man dare not come empty-handed on Valentine’s Day.
And, it’s pretty entertaining to see them all lined up like a wrecking crew on the card aisle the evening before the big day. Not to mention the brave soul who ventures into the deep abyss of the lingerie department and has to stand there and wait until someone the size of their wife comes along so the salesperson can finally assist him.
What happened to this holiday is just like what happened to all the rest. Whereas the day was originally intended as an opportunity to express love toward that one special someone who had captured our hearts, marketing and big business have turned it into a capitalist’s dream.
If you have children, then class cards are generally mandatory. What else would all those art teachers do with that gross of red construction paper and paper doilies? (OK, reality check here. We moms love those little handcrafted cards even if we know for sure our kids didn’t write the verse inside!)
Now it is also socially appropriate to extend love to teachers, coworkers, friends, relatives and even business associates.
Forget those New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. Who can resist a red satin box of chocolates or those cute little kisses all wrapped in red. It’s sabotage I tell you, nothing more. It all starts with Halloween and runs rampant until that last pink M&M between the couch cushions is scarfed up by whoever finds it. And don’t say you never ate a lone M&M cause I won’t believe you and neither will anyone else!
Yes, you may say one could just avoid those aisles, but if the aroma of 600 pounds of chocolate doesn’t suck you in, then you’re a tornado-chasing candidate. And yes, LOVE is a many splendored thing and I guess if it takes a designated day and thousands of pounds of chocolate to remind us of that, then so be it.
But fat and emotion free it is not.